So I’ll be honest. I saw that anonymous comment on my last blog entry and my heart skipped a beat…and then I beat down my heart.
“Wow, they’re good at spam these days.”
Amazing how quickly I shut down my heart that it might actually be true: that God might have moved someone to be His hands in providing for me.
When people would ask I’d say, “I guess I’ll see Tuesday,” wanting to believe but being scared of a big letdown.
So at various times today I felt like a cowboy approaching a showdown at high noon in the dusty street.
I came home from work at 8 and drove up to the mailbox to find only letters — no mailbox key indicating a package.
Then, driving up to my house, the lights were on, signifying Jodi or Deb had been home. But I hadn’t received a frantically-excited voice mail from either.
No package outside the front door.
I schleped all my bags and sundries from the garage into the house. I passed by our kitchen island long enough to allow my lunch bag to fall on the counter. Walking to my bedroom, I kicked off my shoes…
And then I saw it.
Oh my word.
The box that brings joy: the brown cardboard with “Amazon” stamped on it.
My new iPod.
I LOVE that it’s green. It’s the big sister to my little green friend — this one has double the space for Jazzercise songs! (8MB!) It even has video so that I can watch the DVDs of Jazzercise routines and can learn them when I’m away from home.
Thank You, Jesus, for this incredible lesson about grace. It’s not only amazing because it’s wonderful and a gift, but — I think this is the most flabbergasting thing — if anything, I didn’t deserve it with how I’d lost the other one. And in this case, God even lavished me with an upgrade.
If I was God I’d say, “Angie, I provided one for you. You’ll have to suffer the consequences of being unwise in losing it. Bummer to be you.”
But He doesn’t.
And that’s grace. That’s the gospel — the very good news that it’s never been about what I bring to the table; what I earn. It’s about God. Period.
Thank you, God. And thank you, dear anonymous friend, for playing a key role in this life lesson I’ll never forget.