colds and jerry seinfeld

I have a cold. Maybe that’s why Jerry’s especially funny today:

We all think we’re experts on our own bodies. I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication. Did you ever try to pick one of these out? Not easy. There’s an entire wall of products that you need. You stand there going, “Well, this one is quick-acting but this is long-lasting…Which is more important, the present or the future?”

It’s 2007, I’m thinking I should be able to spout my symptoms into a little drive-thru speaker and get out a personalized prescription:

“Well, it’s not so much a stuffy head as a crusty nose that’s tender to the touch. My lips are dry but that’s probably from the hours of breathing through my mouth as my nose is on strike. No headache, no cough, no sore throat. Pretty much just the nose. Oh, and the fact that I have less energy than that cow that jumped over the moon. I mean, she’s gotta bed one tired Bessie.”

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