I’m proposing that the Miss America pageant have a sleep study competition portion.
See what these beauties look like when they’re wired up: six on the head, two bands around the chest, one per shin, one on the right shoulder, two on the face, one on the neck, one above the heart, a row along the chin. Are you getting the picture? It was fitting that Braveheart was on TV as Bill, the technician, was getting me all dolled up. By the end, my hair very much resembled Mel’s.
This is why they say not to drink water after 6 p.m. You have to have a PhD in how-to-dismantle-a-bomb to qualify to schlep down the hall to the bathroom.
Sadly, the night’s sleep wasn’t at all what I usually experience. I didn’t fall asleep quickly (like I normally do) and only really slept from 2 a.m. until Bill woke me up at 5:50 a.m. He should have woken me up at 5:30 a.m. to start disassembling The Bionic Woman, but I had finally gotten into REM (for the first time), so he let me sleep a little longer.
Good news: he didn’t see any episodes of apnea (no breathing).
Bad news: he said if he had a rating scale of 1-10 for snoring, he’d give me a 9. (Oh my word! This isn’t the kind of A I’d like.) Bill technically can’t tell me any kind of diagnosis, but I wonder if I’m waking myself up with my own snoring. That’s what every single woman wants to hear, isn’t it? lol
I should hear the results in 7-10 days. Maybe Lindsay Wagner needs a sidekick.